What not to do in Ramadan

It is common knowledge for Muslims that Ramadan is the month of fasting
for all capable adults who have no valid exemptions. Simply stated,
fasting in Ramadan means abstaining from food, drink, smoking, and
intimate marital relations from dawn to sunset everyday for the whole
month.


However, what many of us forget is that the stated
definition is only the basic act of fasting; and beneath the simplicity
lies a much bigger and more important set of do's and don'ts if we truly
wish to derive the full benefit of our fasting.

Over the ages,
innovations and cultural norms and customs crept in and mixed with the
pristine worship, thereby tarnishing its true meaning. Instead of
focusing on the aspects of worship, purification of the soul, and
reflecting on the mercy of this blessed month in our behaviors, we tend
to spoil our fasting by indulging in certain acts that contradict the
very essence of the month.

So what should we not do in Ramadan? Here is my short list:

• Ramadan
  is not for arguing or debating over the Hilal or moon sighting, so
  don't waste time debating this issue, rather focus on learning something
  that would benefit yourself and your family.
  
• Ramadan is not
  for overeating, overindulging in food, drinks, or obsessive cooking, so
  eat in moderation that which is halal, organic and wholesome, and try to
  shed a few pounds. Fasting should teach us self control and discipline
  over our bodies and over what we consume. With so much in the news these
  days about the "fattening of America," reporting that 66% of adult
  Americans are overweight or obese, there is a compelling argument to be
  made that we should eat less, lose weight, and be more conscious of our
  health. It is our annual chance to shed those extra pounds, but
  unfortunately most of us do the opposite! Our beloved Prophet (PBUH)
  taught us moderation and self control in all aspects of life, and
  forbade us to harm ourselves, directly or indirectly.
  
• Ramadan
  is not for Haram, so avoid Haram in selling, buying, eating, drinking,
  smoking, and in your relationships. If we can abstain from what is
  permissible and even our necessities during our fasting, then why can't
  we abstain from what is prohibited?
  
• Ramadan is not for
  cheating, lying, backbiting, gossiping, slandering, or spreading rumors.
  If the tongue is able to avoid the pleasure of tasting the food and
  quenching its thirst, then why not keep it clean from what can ruin our
  fast?
  
• Ramadan is not for overspending on food and parties. Feed
  the poor, invite the relatives and friends, but do not show off or
  compete in overspending. As it turns out, we Americans waste an
  astounding amount of food - an estimated 27% of food available for
  consumption, according to a government study - and it happens at the
  supermarket, in restaurants and cafeterias, and in our very own
  kitchens. That breaks down to about a pound of food for every American,
  wasted every single day.
  
• Ramadan is not for oversleeping. Pray
  more in the night, read Quran, work during the day. That is the Sunnah
  of our Prophet (PBUH). Laziness has no place in Ramadan.
  
• Ramadan
  is not for wasting time by watching more TV. Television channels
  compete in showing their best programs during this time, and many of us
  spend hours each day and night watching them. Time is precious, we will
  regret every minute wasted by not spending it in an act of worship or
  goodness. So this Ramadan why not pledge to yourself and ask your family
  to cut down on the tube time? Read a book instead, it is much more
  rewarding. Let us benefit from the rewards Allah has promised us during
  this blessed month, and try to forge better lifelong habits in the
  process.
  
• Ramadan is not for inviting the wealthy while ignoring
  the poor, so when we plan our Iftars, let us remember to invite those
  who are usually forgotten.
  
• Ramadan is not for losing control
  over our nerves or emotions, frowning, showing anger, or making excuses
  for letting ourselves vent or explode because "I am fasting and hungry."
  It should be the opposite. In fact, fasting should teach us how to
  control our emotions, to be more patient, balance the mind, body and
  soul, and smile.
  

Many of us will read this article and say:
"Easier said than done." That may very well be true, but who said that
the road to Paradise is easy? Unless we struggle with every step on this
journey we may lose the way, and that will be the biggest tragedy of
all.