How to Get Your Friends to Trust You

How to Get Your Friends to Trust You



These steps will show you how to have your friends trust you from the
very beginning of a friendship. Developing the bonds of trust early in a
friendship can be fast or gradual depending on the experiences each of
you bring to the friendship. It is definitely worth putting in the
effort to create this trust, whatever your prior experiences, and you'll
find that you gain an enduring friendship in which each of you can rely
upon one another to the ends of the Earth.


Steps

1. 
   
   Be trusting yourself. Before you can expect your friends to trust you, you need to show them that you are trustworthy
   and that you trust in them. Trust is a risk but when it comes to
   friendship, you're more likely to make and keep a friend by trusting
   them than by being a cynic and staying wary all the time. Ways for your friend to establish that you are trustworthy include:
   
   
   
   • Don't renege on promises
     and appointments when you make them. Provide clear explanations or
     apologies if something genuine does go wrong to prevent you from coming
     through with your promise.
     
   • Show emotion.
     Showing emotions to a friend is an important and easy way to show them
     you really care. Being open can result in two things: Either you get
     hurt because you left yourself open or you are given secrets when
     friends confide in you. However, it's better to reveal your emotions
     than to bury them so deep that your friend finds you shallow. Give it a
     chance.
     

2


Be kind.
Kindness is a large part of developing and maintaining trust because in
trusting your friends, you are giving them the gift of compassion and
support. It is a great kindness to be able to readily show faith in
another person and support them even when they don't feel that same
level of faith in themselves. It is kindness that cements the growth of
trust.

3


Ask questions.
If you ask a lot of questions if a new friend from the very beginning,
they will see it as a sign that you are interested in them and their
life. This will indicate to them that you're not someone who only thinks
about themselves and your friend will begin to confide in you with
their deeper feelings and even their innermost secrets.

4


Be humble.
Being humble is hard at times but if you master it, then your friends
will not be afraid of you judging them. Being humble is the best
approach to reassuring a new friend that you aren't arrogant or
condescending. A humble person earns trust because humility is about
placing the other person first. In acknowledging that you make mistakes
and that you're not all-knowing, your new friends can see that you're an
easy person to like and eventually, to trust.

5


Don't tease your new friends. While you may consider it just horseplay or funny, they may see it as demeaning and lacking in respect
for them. A person you don't know at the start is a person who will
eventually want to confide in you. Teasing or making fun of them is not a
good idea because a person who constantly makes fun of people is a
person who can't really be trusted and may be insecure enough to be
condescending toward the friend out of their earshot. If you tease a
friend from the start, when that friend is ready to confide in you with
something serious, they will pass.

6


Avoid being demanding. Friendship is about give and take, not about
dumping all of your problems on your friend. Trust can be difficult to
establish when one friend demands too much time, comfort, support,
or reassurance from the other friend. This can cause your friend to
feel hassled out and to be wary of what you're going to dump on them
next.

• Give your friends space. Clingy
  and needy friends are suffocating and suggestive of a lack of belief in
  the friendship enduring breaks. Giving each other space is a sign that
  you trust your friend to still be your friend without having to be
  breathing down each other's necks constantly. You know your friend will
  be there when needed, and your friend knows that too.
  
• Another reason to avoid being demanding and/or clingy is to lessen
  the element of fear or worry driving the relationship. A person is less
  likely to trust if they feel that there is a risk that the needy or
  clingy person might transfer their loyalty to someone who seems more
  supportive at the time, and impart confidential information just to win
  over a new friend.
  

7


Be non-judgmental. Judging your new friend won't help them to trust
you. Initially they may find your "advice" helpful but after a while,
when your friends realize that you always think you know what's best for
them more than they do, they'll be afraid to come to you with any confidences.
Instead, treat your friends fairly, with respect, and with dignity.
Listen to their confidences in a supportive and non-judging way and
given them your unconditional support.

8


Talk on the phone. Talking on the phone is an excellent way of
getting your friend to open up and share new ideas and thoughts with
you. The trick is to ask questions, to use your voice to suggest your
emotions, and to try to be serious with them. All of these combined will
allow your new friend to reveal things they are feeling at the moment.
Eventually they'll confide in you and trust that you actually care about
them.

9


Share with your friends.
Being nice is something easy we can all do. Sharing your things, your
time, and your dreams with a new friend is an excellent way for them to
grow to trust you. Your new friend will think about the whole of your
goodness every now and then. You can share candy, money, clothes, your
time, your skills, and even your holiday home. It's really up to you.